


It's 2 AM and I Need To Sleep

by FrazzledDragon



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Doesn't exactly follow the song but shhhh, Everybody knows who everybody is, Everyone's Depressed, Excessive Drinking, F/M, Hints of Adrientte/LadyNoir, If you're looking for Luka/Marinette shippy stuff you're in the wrong place entirely, Luka/Marinette is not really the emphasis of this, Mentions of Suicide Attempts, Prompt I stole from Instagram, Really depressing, Songfic - Breathe (2 AM) by Anna Nalick, What's new, Why Did I Write This?, alya's pov, couldn't tell ya, feel free to make me aware of these typos, i can't tag, idk man, there's probably loads of typos, underage drinking???, written in like an hour
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-12
Updated: 2018-11-12
Packaged: 2019-08-22 10:45:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16596380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FrazzledDragon/pseuds/FrazzledDragon
Summary: Songfic: Breathe (2 AM) Anna Nalick (I DO NOT OWN THE SONG)Inspiration: Stolen straight from Instagram user marincttenoir, who says they stole it from someone else :) nothing is original :) no matter how hard you try everything you do has been done before and will be done again :)Basically everything is broken and wrong and Alya's turned into a therapist.Is everyone in it a little OOC? Of course, it's a songfic. Everything and everyone is a little OOC. I have no regrets.Is it depressing? ABSOLUTELY.Does it have a happy ending? Kinda.IF YOU'RE SENSITIVE TO TALK ABOUT SUICIDE/DEPRESSION/SELF-HARM OR ANYTHING SIMILAR PLEASE BE CAREFUL READING THIS PLEASE PLEASE BE SAFE





	It's 2 AM and I Need To Sleep

    Alya glances at her phone, then at the door as the phone vibrates. It’s two in the morning, and as far as her parents know, she isn’t awake. There’s only three people who’d call her at this hour and she gets a sinking feeling in her gut. None would call her at this hour for good news or just to talk.

    She debates not answering, but after seeing the caller ID, she knows Marinette knows she’s awake. Marinette doesn’t know why necessarily, but with how she’d been acting the past couple months, Alya doesn’t intend to tell her. It would destroy her. Alya is many things, but she is not cruel and she won’t change that now.

    Gnawing her lower lip, she answers the call, pressing the phone to her ear. “Alya?” Marinette asks, and Alya knows instantly her best friend has been crying, sobbing probably.

    “Yeah. Keep it down, okay? My sister’s right next door.”

    “I… know I don’t deserve it… I don’t deserve anything… but I need your help… If you don’t want to, I definitely understand….”

    “What’s up?” but Alya knows what she’s going to say before Marinette ever opens her mouth. She’s known for a while that this was coming, but she didn't know it’d take so long.

    “I don’t love him.”

    The words come out choked. Alya nods; mostly Marinette just needed to get it out, to say it aloud where another person could hear her. Alya’s hazel gaze drifts to the window, where the snow is slowly drip, drip, dripping off the roof with the coming of spring.

    “I know, girl.” The words are heavy on her tongue. She hates this for her friend, hates that she knew it was coming, hates that she didn’t tell her it was coming, hates that her heart is hurting as much as it is, hates that Luka is going to have to hear those same words soon, when he loves Marinette so deeply.

    “I just… It was just this winter! With everything that went wrong... With everything… It was too hard… I can’t ever say no, damn it all!” Marinette’s crying again, her empathy and compassion killing her. “I… I couldn’t keep my shit together… It’s my fault! I’m going to break his damn heart! I wish… I wish I could rewind!”

    “Girl, we both know there’s no going back. We’re stuck living the life we have, through rain and shine. Luka probably can sense that it’s coming to an end, and either way, he doesn’t deserve to be toyed with. Just breathe, okay? You have to breathe. It hurts now, but it’ll be okay. Just keep breathing.”

    Marinette cries for a while, but after thanking Alya quietly, she hangs up, wishing her goodnight. Alya ponders over the fact that she didn’t really do anything at all. Sometimes though, she knows, sometimes all you need is someone to listen and accept you at your worst.

    She goes over to her desk, turning on the lamp she had placed specifically so you couldn’t see the glow from the other side of door, scribbling down every thought that passed through her mind in silence. She doesn’t sleep much anymore, her mind full and her friends heavy with thoughts of their own. Even Nino, her boyfriend, the most easy-going person she knows, the most upbeat person, is struggling.

    Besides, there’ll be another call coming any moment and she has to be available to take it. She’s talked him down every night this week, probably three times a week at least the last couple months. There’s no way she’ll let him down. Tonight is no exception. Her phone, which she had set in her lap, begins buzzing a moment later. Right on time and really reliable.

   

    The next school day, Alya knows immediately that Marinette broke it off with Luka. Everyone’s staring at the class rep, her pigtails nowhere to be seen, instead her hair is down and her appearance is bedraggled. Alya doubts she slept, but then again, neither did she.

    She comes up to the girl, noticing the red rings around her eyes, the tired slump of her shoulders, the way her hands are still trembling. She embraces the girl, feeling the shaking in her very bones. “Girl, they’ll come around. Everything’ll be okay. Besides, they’ve got no reason to judge. They’ve all made bad choices before, every last one of them. Some of them, more than one. If you need an example, I’ve got a dated, bulleted, multi-page list for one Chloe Bourgeois. Breathe. You’ll be okay. They’re not sure which you they’re going to get today. And I think, given time, they’re going to be happy this whole pile of steaming dogshit is over with.”

    Marinette chuckles into Alya’s hair, taking deep breaths. She’s crying a little; Alya’s shirt comes away damp. “Thanks, Alya. I don’t deserve you.”

    “Damn right, you don’t,” Alya grins weakly, ruffling Marinette’s already disastrous hair. “Did you talk to him?”

    “I told him as we walked to school. I tried to be gentle _and_ honest, but… he’s really angry at me.”

    Alya shrugs, her hands falling to Marinette’s shoulders while her eyes track a certain blond across the room. Nino is trying, lucklessly, to talk to him, but Alya knows neither of them slept last night and there’s no way it’ll end well today, because it hasn’t ended well yet. “He’ll get over it. Just like you. Now, I’ve got to go bother my boyfriend. He promised me a song and hasn’t even given me a single lyric yet. Go to class, I’ll catch up, okay? I also have the notes for the past couple weeks if you want them.”

    “Thanks again, Alya… You’re a lifesaver.”

    Alya tries not to snort at the irony of the phrase, going over to Nino and Adrien. They were getting more worked up by the moment, but both fall silent as Alya approaches. Alya’s hand grips Nino’s shoulder, massaging it gently. She wraps her arms around him, hugging him tightly to her, pressing soft kisses to his cheek and neck. “I love you,” she murmurs into his skin and he melts in her grasp. He shakes, barely. She’s shaking too.

    They both needed this. No more words pass between them, but the kind of understanding words can’t describe passes through them and when she releases him with a final squeeze, they are both calmer and feel refreshed. Nino wanders off to class, knowing what Alya has to do for Adrien, the same thing she’s done every morning for the past several months. Alya turns her gaze to Adrien, the pain radiating off of him enough to make her bite her lip to keep the tears back.

    Adrien’s swaying where he stands, an occasional tremble rippling through him. His cheeks are flushed red, his eyelids drooping heavily over bloodshot, watery eyes. His clothes look and smell like he slept in them, which he probably did. She can see the poorly hidden flask in his coat, and is unapologetic about taking it from him. He tries to protest, but can’t. Alya’s beginning to get a collection of his flasks.

    “Did you sleep last night? After you called me?”

    “An hour,” he slurs eventually, alcohol dizzyingly-thick on his breath.

    “Adrien, we’ll fix this. You have to believe me. You’ll get Plagg back. Marinette will get Tikki back. We’ll fix this. We’ll get your dad _and_ your mom back. But the way to fix this isn’t in the bottom of any flask or bottle. Chloe, Nino, and I are doing our best, okay? You have to stop drinking. Plagg needs Adrien, not a bottle of booze with legs. Hell, so do Marinette, Nino, and I. We all need Adrien back. When was the last time you were sober?”

    Adrien blinks slowly, swaying dangerously forward, kept up-right only by Alya’s steadying hand on his shoulder. “I don’t know.”

    Alya nods, blinking back tears. She knows he’s telling the truth, because she can’t remember the last time he was sober either. Seeing someone with so much being reduced to so little is destroying her. “Adrien. You did all you could. But you can’t stop now. Then you really would be letting Plagg down. You gotta stop. If for nothing and no one else, stop for me. I… I can’t keep doing this.”

    They don’t talk about the two am calls where Adrien tells her all of the darkest thoughts that parade his brain, all the most disheartening impulses that drive his heart. They don’t talk about how Alya had to talk him down off the roof of his house, from the highest part where the fall would easily kill him. They don’t mention the gun that Alya ran to his house to remove from his hands.

    “I’ll do anything, Adrien. I’ll chain you to me if I have to, but… I need to sleep… I never sleep anymore but somehow it feels like I’m never awake! Everything is a nightmare! I need to wake up! I need your help, Adrien… Please…”

    “I’ll… I’ll try,” he murmurs, his face coming into concentration. A light of hope, the first one she’d really felt since October, flitters through her. “I’ll try… For Plagg…”

    She smiles, because that is enough, more than enough, opening her mouth to thank him when he continues. “And for you… ‘Cause… ‘Cause… you… saved me too…” He begins to cry, his drunken emotions extreme.

    “Breathe, Adrien… Breathe… We’ve got to get to class, okay? Let me take your bag, I’ll tell them you went to the restroom and will be along in a minute. I’ll send Nino your way to help, too, okay? It’ll be okay… Everything will be okay.”

    Alya takes his bag off his shoulder, practically skipping into class. Things _will_ be better. Things will change.

Ladybug and Chat Noir _will_ fight together again, even if Alya has to put them back together piece by piece. Even if it takes more sleepless nights of endless scribbling and call after depressing call, she can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Even if more people die because of Hawkmoth, Gabriel Agreste’s, wish, even if it takes years for them to find the fashion designer and the wife who was raised from the dead. Even if it means that she doesn’t graduate on time and Marinette, Adrien, and Nino are the only friends she has left in the end.

She will do it. Besides, with the best heroes Paris has to offer on her side, how could she fail?

Trixx, who has been silent and still for months, jostles her purse, purple eyes peeking out. Alya smiles, walks into class and sets Adrien’s bag down as the bell rings. She tells Ms. Bustier where Adrien is, and Nino conveniently “forgot his book in his locker” and leaves the room. Alya bumps Marinette gently, noticing her head bobbing as she begins to nod off.

“Girl, there’s hope. We’ve gotta hold on to it and never let it go again. We’re gonna find Tikki, even if it kills us. We’re gonna find them all. We’re going to fix it. It’s reason to stay awake and it’s reason to try, try, and try again. We’re gonna be okay, you hear me?”

Marinette grins, Alya grins, and the girls embrace tightly.

When Nino and Adrien come back, both boys are smiling. For the first time in months. Alya watches slyly as Marinette’s cheeks go a little pink, looking at Adrien.

_Sometimes you just need someone to accept you at your worst._

Adrien notices, smiles, and waves at Marinette, swaying less than he was before. Marinette smiles back, looking more like by the moment. His hair looks damp and Alya suddenly gets a pristine image of how Nino chose to help Adrien.

A wave of deja-vu washes over her, alongside a sense of rightness. This is how things are meant to be. They’re just kids, after all. The world is supposed to be their oyster, not their prison. Alya smiles at Nino, giving him a little thumbs up.

He pulls out his phone, typing something out.

Alya gets a text a moment later.

It reads, “A lyric from the promised song. ‘ _There’s a light at the end of this tunnel, you shout’_.”

 

At two am, almost like she set an alarm, Alya wakes up. She fell asleep at around six pm, due to the several chained nights of little to no sleep. It occurs to her slowly, but once it hits her, she jumps like she was electrocuted. _She fell asleep_. “OH SHIT!” She whisper-yells, scrambling for her phone, not caring what noise she makes. Absolutely horrified with herself and terrified with what she’ll find, she checks her phone, the light blinding her initially.

No missed calls.

No unread texts.

Not even an unnoticed email.

A frown works its way across her face. Usually, by this point, Adrien’s at _least_ texted her, even just once. But there’s nothing.

 _No news is good news_ , Alya tries reasoning with herself as she calls him. _Right? He would text you if he wasn’t doing good. Of course he would_.

“... Alya?” Adrien sounds groggy, his voice deep and garbled. “What’s wrong? My God, my head hurts… Damn it all…”

“Were… Were you asleep?” Alya can’t even believe the words she’s saying.

“Yes… Weren’t you?” His snark, so witty and quick, makes her heart sing with relief.

“You weren’t drinking?”

“No.”

“You weren’t… hurting yourself?” Alya should stop questioning him and let him go back to sleep, but it’s too good to be true.

“No… Now, I’m trying to sleep out a nasty hangover, so if you’d please excuse me…”

“Thank you, Adrien,” Alya whispers, her eyes filling with tears. “Thank you.”

“No, thank _you_ , Alya. Now, goodnight…” Adrien grumbles, hanging up on her.

“But I’m finally awake,” she whispers, joy threatening to overwhelm her.

Her eyes fall on the desk, where her diary and the lamp you can’t see the glow of from the other side of the door lie. Any other night, she would go and write until the sun came up the next morning, but tonight she rolls over and to the sound of water dripping down off the roof of her house, she falls into a dreamless slumber.

 


End file.
